Dealing with grief is common in a vet practice. Below is a summary of the grief process and how you and your clients can expect to deal with grief over the loss of an animal.
Do not feel ashamed or embarrassed about having an emotional response to the death of your client's pet. This is normal and it would be surprising if you felt no sense of grief. Bereavement can be a confusing and trying time. A better understanding of the grief process can make it easier for you and your clients.
Keep in mind that everyone is different, some clients will skip one or more steps and some will go through them in a different order. The "process" is only a guide to help understand the client's reactions to the death of their pet.
It is common to refuse to accept that a loved one has died. This is particularly true if the death was sudden and unexpected. If the animal has died away from home, allowing the client to see the body can sometimes help them to come to terms with the unfortunate reality.
Anger is a common sequel to loss. The bereaved feels anger towards the vet, the person who ran the pet over, or even towards fate for what is perceived as an unfair loss.
Grief manifests itself as sorrow and a longing for the pet that is gone. No matter how unlikely it seems at the time, after a period of weeks or months, the clients grief will subside to a manageable level. Assure them of this but allow them to grieve in their own timeframe. It is scientifically accepted that for some people the loss of a pet is as traumatic as the loss of a family member.
With time comes acceptance. For some people a "ceremony" is needed to finalise the parting. Ensure the return of the animals body to the client is as respectful to the animal and to the client as possible.
Many people feel guilty after the loss of a client's pet. If you know that you did everything possible for the animal, accept that sometimes an injury or illness is too severe for survival and nothing you could have done will change this. If you really did do something that may have directly or indirectly influenced their death, do not berate yourself. Turn it into a positive experience by making sure of what you can do to prevent a similar fate befalling other pets that you may care for in the future.
Relief is often felt when the pet has been suffering a lot, been very trying to practice staff or when the owner has been struggling to decide whether or not to Euthanase. Most owners are horrified to find that they are a bit relieved by their pet's death. Assure them there is no reason to feel guilty about this. Relief is normal when an unpleasant situation has come to an end. Their relief, and yours, in no way diminishes the grief.
There will be times that the vet advises the client that their pet has no reasonable hope of recovery or old age will have so diminished the quality of his life that euthanasia is the kindest option. If this brings on feelings of guilt in the client reassure them that if they have given their pet a good life, an easy death might be the most humane option. Ask the vet's advice as to whether the client be present or not, usually the pet is comforted by the presence of the owner, but if they are going to "break down" they might cause the pet more distress, in the end however it is the client's decision.
How your client broaches the pet's death will depend on the age of the child and his previous experience with death. However here are some do's and don'ts:
Be truthful during the pet's illness.
If you tell a child "there's nothing to worry about" and the pet dies the child could be traumatised when he receives the same reassurance before a routine operation that he has to undergo.
Never tell a child that he or she is acting like a baby - show them that it is all right to express their feelings.
Children are inquisitive. They may ask detailed and repetitive questions about death.
Be sure that children know that they are not responsible in any way for the death.
Be careful of the reason you give the child. Saying that the pet was put to sleep because it was too naughty could cause him to become anxious about his own fate or that of an elderly relative. Emphasise the shorter life span of the pet, its inability to make decisions for itself and the hopelessness of further recovery. If you don't the child could once again be frightened for his own safety should he be ill or injured.
Watching euthanasia could comfort the child as he sees how painless death is. However, it may make him scared of injections. Advise your client according to the child's age and ability to understand if it is suitable for the child to be present. If the pet has died at the vet, letting the child see the body might be a good way of introducing him to death. If the pet died as a result of a trauma and the body is badly mutilated it is best not to let younger children view the body. Tell them that it is best to remember the pet the way he was.